Why Setbacks Feel Heavier During Menopause
Let’s sit down for a heart-to-heart about something so many working women quietly carry: setbacks, especially during the Menopause journey. This transition can feel like your world is upside down: sleep goes off the rails, confidence decreases, and suddenly your workplace demands seem higher than ever. You’re not alone, and what you’re feeling makes perfect sense.
Why Setbacks Feel Heavier During Menopause
Here’s the truth: setbacks hit differently in midlife. Maybe it’s a missed deadline at work because of brain fog, or snapping at a loved one because you just haven’t slept well in weeks. These moments can bring a wave of self-doubt, guilt, anxiety, and sometimes even deep sadness. You might wonder, “Why can’t I handle things like I used to?” But here’s a gentle reminder: with hormones in flux and life’s pressures stacking up, these reactions are normal, not a sign you’re failing.
It’s easy to slip into patterns of self-blame, beat yourself up for struggling or even feeling ashamed, but consider this instead: what if these feelings are simply messages from inside, nudging you to pause, breathe, and listen?
Shifting Your Lens: Setbacks as Stepping Stones
Here’s a perspective that might lighten that heavy feeling: what if “failing” is really just a “Fail Attempt In Learning”? Every misstep is a kind of feedback: a clue about what’s working for you and what might need tweaking. Imagine how freeing it can be to know that a bad day or even a rough month isn’t proof of incompetence, but just data on your journey.
So next time you’re tempted to say, “I messed up, I’m just not cut out for this,” try swapping it for, “Okay, that didn’t work. What can I learn here?” Growth happens not in spite of setbacks, but because of them. Your inner critic might say you’re not enough, but kindly remind her: perfection isn’t the goal, progress is. Give your inner critic a name even when you talk to her, it will help to dissociate yourself from her. (No, no it is not silly…I called mine: “Diabolique”)
Embracing a Growth Mindset: The Power of “Yet”
One of the most life-changing shifts is moving from “I can’t do this” to “I can’t do this yet.” It sounds simple, but that one little word: “yet” holds so much hope and possibility. During Menopause, when everything is shifting, it’s powerful to believe you can still learn, adapt, and grow, simply because you can!!
Imagine what it would feel like to approach new challenges with curiosity: “What might help me here?” or “How could I try this differently next time?” Growth mindset isn’t about ignoring hard things, it’s about trusting that with each day, you’re building new skills, even if it’s just learning to rest and take care of your mind in a gentler way.
Listening to Your Emotions: Tuning in, Not Tuning Out
Emotions, especially the tough ones like anger, sadness, or overwhelm: they can sometimes feel like unwelcome guests. But think of them as messengers: they’re here to tell you something important. Ignoring or suppressing feelings only gives them more power to knock on your door with greater urgency next time.
Instead of pushing through or bottling up (you’re not a robot!), practice quietly reflecting: “What is this feeling trying to show me? What is the source, the thought behind it? Or is there a need or boundary that wants my attention?” You get to decide what action, if any, comes next. Just listening, even briefly, can soothe the intensity and help you respond rather than react.
Self-Compassion in Action: Be Your Own Cheerleader
Here’s a secret: so many women doing incredible things every single day are still fighting the harshest voice, their own “Diabolique”. During Menopause, this inner critique can get even louder. But would you ever speak to a dear friend the way you sometimes speak to yourself? Probably not…
Treat yourself like you would your closest friend: offer kindness, grace, and encouragement. When you stumble (and you will, because you’re human), remind yourself, “I’m doing my best with what I’ve got today, and that’s enough.” You deserve just as much care and understanding as anyone else.
Menopause Isn’t the End, It’s a New Beginning
It might sound cliché, but Menopause doesn’t have to be a closing chapter. Yes, there are losses and tough days, but there’s also wisdom, resilience, and a powerful new sense of self being born. Imagine what’s possible if you treat each setback as a turning point, not a dead end, but a crossroads where you get to choose kindness, growth, and purpose.
See this phase as a chance to rewrite your story. Try new things, even if you’re nervous. Set the boundaries you need for your health. Speak gently to yourself, and celebrate the small victories, even if today’s win is just making it through with your sense of humour intact.
Gentle Steps for Every Day
Start small, baby tiny steps count & matter…Try these gentle practices:
Take mindful breaks for breath and reset when emotions run high.
Reframe tough moments with kindness and see them as invitations to adjust, not proof you’re stuck.
Journal to capture feelings and lessons: they can help connect dots you might miss in the moment.
Reach for support: friends, peers, or a coach, because you deserve to be heard and held up.
Remind yourself it’s always okay to rest and reset.
Above all, remember: you are enough, setbacks and all. You’re growing, learning, and navigating an incredible transformation. Each day is another chance, and you’re not alone on this path. Treat yourself with the same tenderness you’d offer to someone you love, because you absolutely deserve it.
